My Protein

One last thing.... I ran out of my whey protein yesterday. Well, I had half a serving yesterday, but today, all gone. I've ordered more, and I realize there are worse things in life than being out of whey protein. However, I can't believe what a difference it makes in my day! I'm sluggish right now, hungry, tired, a little cranky. I'm seriously contemplating running to GNC over lunch for a little bag until my big bag get delivered at work Friday, my PTO day. I don't think I can make it the next 5 days without it.

I'm hooked. Isopure Dutch Chocolate Whey Protein - you're the one for me.

I know. I just blogged about Whey Protein. I'm so lame and apologize to the 18 people that randomly take time out of their lives to see what I say feel the need to contribute to the world.

Scientific Breakthrough - It Really is Calories In Must be Less Than Calories Out.

I figured this whole time the diet & exercise community was high on some crazy pill – with all this weight loss is a simple math equation of the more calories you take in, the more you must expend in order to lose weight.

As it turns out, they were right all along. I’m going on 21 days of straight calorie counting using the website FatSecret.com. I started using it because it was free and it had a blackberry app download (also free). Now I’m dependant on the website. One page leads you to your diet calendar and it shows how many calories consumed and expended, and the net between. Turns out, since last Wednesday, I expended about 6200 calories, and to lose two pounds per week, you need to shave off about 7000 calories. Anyway – 6200 calories/3500 (calories to shave off an lb) is about 1.8# of weight loss, which was, now here’s the magical part: exactly what I lost at this morning’s weigh in! Dum da da!!! Brilliant! My inner geek that craves balance and perfection is almost hyperventilating right now.

I’m now scientifically convinced.

Happy that today is my Thursday and only one more day of work before my long birthday weekend. I will certainly need to up my calorie expenditure over the next few days, as I’m planning on champagne and filet mignon for sure into my schedule. I really like that nice little green arrow next to my calorie intake for the day – not the nasty red one that clearly screams, “Nice binge, chubby. Was it worth it?”

Happy Hump Day! (haha – there’s a calorie expenditure!)

Monday Monday

Nothing new or particularly insightful in today’s blog. (Is there ever?). My blogging WI on Friday resulted in a whopping 1.0 loss… which BTW – Thinking I’m switching WI’s to Wednesdays so it is the same as my boot camp WI. My birthday is on Saturday, so I’m already thinking about how hard and dedicated I have to be this week to my body – as I intend to celebrate my birth with champagne Saturday night.

I was SO nervous for boot camp this morning. It was cardio day with Trainer Amanda. Last cardio day with her I was wrecked for the rest of the day, so today’s workout was challenging, but we ended up with playing dodge ball for about the last 5 minutes, where the punishment for getting hit by a ball was 30 jumping jacks or 30 jumping lunges. I’m going to need a refresher on the rules of dodge ball because I did an extreme amount of jumping, and a very little amount of playing. I either a) I suck at dodge ball b) I’m far too honest and did punishments every time I deserved or c) I don’t know the rules and did more jumps than necessary. Such is life. Not that I can’t use the extra cardio, that’s for sure.

I took Friday and Sunday off from the gym, had a great workout Saturday, and pushed myself extra hard because I knew my dinner options would be limited as we had a catered family affair to attend. I splurged on a fabulous piece of cake but really enjoyed it because I knew I worked it off at the gym that morning.

As a conservative estimate, I figure my calorie burn is about 2,400-2,700 per day. I think a new and more unique goal for me is to have one day a week when I push that above 3,000, or have a day that I get in an extra 30-60 minutes of moderate+ exercise. If its beneficial for the body and metabolism to have one meal per week that is higher calorie than typical, maybe the same works for activity?

The boss, the boss's boss, and the boss's boss's boss (aka the Owner) of my company are out of the office this afternoon and I'm certainly enjoying my solitude.

STFU

Absolutely having a WW3 style argument with the inner fat girl (IFG - See Photo) the past few days. All that bitch is making me think about is pepperoni pizza from Dominos and a chocolate malt. And it sounds so pathetic that I’m thinking about food in such a crazy, emotional way! And this is so uncomfortable to admit – but I am was such a total binger! Not necessarily one of those people that would sit down and eat 10,000 calories… but just the type that wants a certain food, in this case Dominos Pizza (which I don’t even really like unless I’m hungover) and just indulges in the food with no self-control to maybe just have a slice of ‘za, and then a salad. Ugh. And just the fact that I keep thinking about all of these foods that are bad for me (mmm but are so yummy)– totally makes me feel like that stereotypical fat girl. I feel okay – like I have the control right now to just not order a pizza and go crazy – because I do have my eye on the prize right now… Not to mention, my boot camp instructor reads my food journal. I feel obligated to be honest to my food journal – and there’s no way I could ever let that fit, super nice and encouraging instructor down. But really. Why can’t the bitch (IFG) just STFU? I’m so angry that she even thinks she’s got the right to give an opinion right now. Ohhh. Letting my typically hidden neurotic side run wild today. Alright- maybe not so hidden to those close to me – but the first time I’ve written in for all to see. Just the anxiety that thinking about food like this is making me nuts. Geez. Is this what withdrawals are like for addicts?

It’s a process, it’s a change, blah blah blah. I get it. Just a day that I’m angry that I even have to worry about the food I eat and that I never learned to like the “good stuff” in the first place.

Plus side is – tomorrow is Friday and therefore, 4:45 AM alarm clock free. The game plan is to head to the gym about 5:45 AM and workout for an hour before work.

Work note: Today I’m sporting hirt that has a huge hole just above the elbow and I totally forgot about it until I got to work today. It also makes me look preggers – and being that its kind of a tunic – I may get the coworkers talking.

Ignore the bra backfat. Ideally it will be disappearing along with the voice of the IFG.

That person...

When my alarm goes off at 4:45 am, and I subconsciously rise out of bed, I’m always less than pleased, and perfectly happy that my boyfriend stays in bed, because this is the time of the morning where I can be the nastiest, angriest bitch I know - to a point, where I almost scare myself and typically fight the urge to throw a mean temper tantrum circa “3-year-old-only-child -1986-me”. My poor, dear BFF Abby has witnessed this – and has sometimes been the brunt of these extreme mood swings (Here is my public apology, gal!). About twenty minutes into my pre-boot camp morning, after I’m done stumbling around, slipping down the stairs, and bouncing into walls (so not even kidding – you’d think I was a raging alcoholic still drunk from the night before with my sever lack of coordination), I head out the door into me fresh morning air. I walk to my car in my ultra-safe suburban neighborhood with my key in hand – incase of random encounter with an attacker, although more likely a raccoon or deer. I get it, I’m an unstable freak in the morning. However, after cranking some good tunes on the 15 minute drive to the gym, I somehow transform into a cheerleader. The type of person had my earlier self run into - would have punched. I don’t get how anyone can stand me! I’m so perky and loving life. My boot camp workout does this to me. I get up and I’m so happy to be there working my body. Certainly during class there are times I can’t figure out why I’m there – but my whole day is a better day with my morning workout. And without having to leave and go to the gym and have my attendance taken – there’s no way I could hold myself accountable and head out on my own. Even my eating habits in the past year have transformed from “AM Workout=Eat whatever you want the rest of the day” to “AM workout=Don’t put all that hard work to waste (or waist).”

With that said – a goal that I have is to get myself to workout on my non-boot camp mornings on Fridays and Saturdays, and use Sunday as a day of rest. It absolutely sets the stage for me to have a much better, less excuses filled day.

Last bit of info today is to check out Blogger Sarah and Operation Size 8. She is doing her first giveaway - so log on and see how you can join in the fun! Also - Stephanie is a P90x-er new to blogging and looking for followers - check her out too!

Ugh. Suck it, 4:45 am.

Can't it just be official already?

I'm a little number obsessive right now... as Friday is Blogerville Weighin Day and I thought today was WI day for boot camp - but nope - not til Wednesday. Can't I just record my official loss of a pound already? And then I can finally reap my bootcamp reward of a pedicure? My pastey MN winter feet are dying for a little R&R. Its not that I'll be giving up for a day until next week, but the Gen Y-er in me is craving some recognition from the scale and the bootcamp trainer. I just want it to be made official that I've done my part to not have to be punished as a group or as an individual. I guess its a good reminder in discipline and not receiving that instant gratification that I typically desire from weight loss. Or I'm just impatient and there is no flipping lesson!

I boot camped this morning, have had good food today, and plan on at least heading out for a walk tonight after work.... and while my mom is grilling her Awesome Mom burgers, I'll be eating Chicken. Again. Oh, if only I enjoyed fish, as this limited array of pork and chicken as my go-to lean protein choice gets a little old. I'm trying to experiment with different ways of cooking and new marinades though to keep things interesting. And I finally found a salad that I don't think is awful - its the Fresh Express Asian Supreme salad, so I'm trying to keep that introduced to me and hopefully expanding my pallet to more rabbit foods.

Feeling strong today though, and trying to be thankful that I have a body that is strong enough to live up to the challenges I'm giving it right now. And even though I'm one of those people that worries far too much about the things I can't control, and worries about the things I can control but I haven't been discipline enough to change them, my mind is strong too. Thank you for all of the little material things that make up my well-protected life. Thank you for friends I talk to often, those that are still friends, even though we don't talk as much, and thank you for being the type of person that can make new friends in the future. Thank you for giving me the courage to step up and be the kind of big sister I want to be. Thank you for all of the things that I can't begin to appreciate. Thank you, Thank You, Thank You.

For Mrs. L... who is enduring right now for a second time what no parent should have to at any age. Be strong, you gave all that you could. You are in my prayers.  

Sitting next to my S.O. and he's eating pizza he just had delivered. damn. I ate a sandwich so I wouldn't eat the za, but my mouth is watering!

Great, fantastic, awesome, wonderful day!

I'm have a great day! Just amazed by what life brings to us - highs and lows - and today, even though there's a bit of both, I'm thankful and grateful for the highs. I'm peeing rainbows today! I'm down a 1# in my official weighin (yesterday I morning I was down 2.2 - whatevs).

Not too much else to report - ready for my weekend - but had to report my weightloss and happy mood!

The Approaching Weekend

My blogging official weigh in is tomorrow - but I had to peek on the scale today... and I'm crossing my fingers for good things and this morning wasn't a fluke. Especially because I've been very careful about what's being shoved into my face (actually - now there's more eating, less shoving). Based of the amount of work it takes to eat a meal now, with planning and careful measuring, I'm too exhausted to shove. Alright alright. Maybe I'm being a tad dramatic there, but still. Food tracking and planning can easily take the time of a part time job. I spent a good 2 1/2 hours at the store last night... and most of what I bought was on the perimeter of the store, as I'm trying to cut back on that highly processed, perservative-laden food that I've been having a love affair with for years now. I'm not saying we're done seeing each other forever, our bond is too close for that, but sometimes when you grow up (after you've grown a few inches or more out), you also grow apart. And that's my story.

Oh - and for those curious - my weekly consequence for not meeting my bootcamp goal is a 100-Push Up day, my reward is a rotating reward of a mani, pedi, or a massage. (Thanks, Kelli) I'm still working on Long Term goals - but one that I've had for a long time that I forgot about until blogger Alissa reminded me, that I want a pair of Seven jeans. I plan on making a few more long term, more definitive goals, but they have to be meaningful to me. Brainstorming will continue.

Rock on!

Cranky

My attitude could only be described as Cranky right now. I had a TOUGH boot camp workout this morning and I don't think my energy ever really recovered. I also forgot that I had plans to meet my friend for lunch today (I knew something was going on!) so we went out to eat and it just seemed like decent selections were hard to come by...  I ordered a flatbread - that didn't advertise that it was covered in cheese (the other selections said cheese) - and I realize its one meal and I ate only a tiny portion, but I totally felt unprepared and got frustrated by my choice. That and the waitress was slow so I was late getting back to work, then had coworkers requesting everything under the sun. All petty stuff, yes. But it certainly compounded into one heck of a headache. Tonight is grocery store night - so I'm currently writing a list - so when I get there I don't make impulse buys like a pint of chocolate ice cream. Ugh - I think my irritability may also have just been a catalyst in a fight between me and my S.O.

Like when Amanda, my BC trainer was pushing us to the edge this morning, "Remember why you want this and keep going."

Poll Question - Goals

This boot camp requires us to commit to weekly goals - and as such - rewards and consequences for meeting or failing to meet said goals. I'm looking for some fresh rewards/consequence ideas and also - beyond a weightloss number goal - what are some other goals that you have?  We have goals for weekly, 5 weeks through the program, and at the end of the program. Simply put:

1. What are your non-weight # goals?
2. What are some ideas for consequences for not making a goal?
3. What are some non-food related rewards?

And today's secret word is.... DISCIPLINE!

I hardly slept last night with this nervous excitement about Boot Camp this morning... which made leaping, okay, stumbling out of bed this morning at 4:45 am a little easier. It was a great workout. One of the new Boot Camp coaches, Amanda, is great.(Whew - the endorphins must still be pumping from this morning) She gave us a tough workout, and is so fun and full of energy, that her attitude at least made the boot camp environment a little easier. No sarcasm needed here - I really felt good through the whole class to be working hard and holding myself accountable again... not to mention - in a room with six other women - nobody wants to be the underachiever in class! Although - right now - my thighs (as today's theme was "legs") are starting to turn into cold rubber bands. I'm looking forward to crawling up my stairs to bed tonight.

I'm feeling more than a little fuzzy at the moment between this morning's early call time, my Claritin, and a VERY long day at work so far - and I'm hoping this little break helps me make it til 5. Anyway - what I wanted to get out blog wise today is a little deeper than typical blah blah day-2-day crap. I went to church yesterday with my friend Gina, and the message was all about discipline. It was one of those days where you think the message is delivered right to you - and this is one of those contemporary churches so the message is really delivered in a practical way... but in essence - have the discipline to do today that will support what you want tomorrow. So I practiced this yesterday in a number of ways:

1. I took all of my workout clothes out of their drawers and my closet and folded them on a shelf that is out in the open, staring at me every time I walk into my bedroom.
2. I portioned out the entire bag of pretzels I bought into single serving snack bags.
3. I prepared my work clothes and packed my gym bag since I wouldn't be heading home between the gym and work today.
4. I actually put away ALL OF MY CLOTHES that usually stays in the laundry basket until next time I wear them. And then - I ironed all of my work and dress pants for the week.
5. I made my lunch for today as well.

Now - its funny - because none of those are big, time consuming projects, but I always say that I'm going to do stuff like that - but I never do, therefore making me rush in the morning so I don't pack a lunch, don't hit the gym, don't dress as nice for work, etc. And I just have to say - It was SO nice this morning not having to do that crap! "No discipline seems pleasant at the time. It seems painful. Later on, however, it produces a harvest of righteousness and peace for those who've been trained by it." (Hebrews 12:11).

Alright. Enough deep thoughts today. My brain just can't take it. And BTW - please remind me in a few days when I'm unable to move that at one point - I said Amanda was Great. :) Tomorrow I'll try to return to my sarcastic, sassy self.

Its 4:50 am and I'm just awake enough to think discipline: the strong have it, the weak do not. BRING IT boot camp!

Game Time Substitution

First it was all P90x all of the time. Then, P90x and Couch to 5k meshed. Now, I’ve signed up for something tried and true – and really does work for me. Or works with me. Look Good Naked Boot Camp. This is one of those kicks-your-behind 4x-a-week for 10 weeks programs that I did with my boyfriend last summer – and after completing that program – my self-esteem was the highest it had been in years. The founder, Sara J. was a terrific coach, along with two other trainers / slave drivers Adam & Jacqui. It was truly an all encompassing wellness program – there was an exercise component, accountability with weekly weigh-in rewards/consequences, conference calls about different aspects of health management needs. A really terrific program so while I don’t hold myself accountable to my P90x goals (Sorry Tony – I realize you’d lead me to results – but working out in my living room, next to my pal, the couch – doesn’t do it for me.) I will have boot camp to kick my butt. I think I am gym-dependant!

That starts Monday (4/12), and I’m anxiously awaiting the assessment to compare what I’ve done to my body since last fall when I completed my first boot camp session. Now, while I’ll be participating in boot camp Monday-Thursdays at 5:30 am, this time I am taking the express class, which is 30 minutes long, compared to the normal 1-hour long boot camp I took last summer. I am doing this, because I really want to get my strength and resistance training in, while still following through on the Couch to 5k program, which will eventually turn into a 10k training program while participating in boot camp. Also – I still really like AbX & Core Synergistics, and plan on keeping those routines mixed in on Friday, Saturday, and Sundays when I’m not at boot camp.

Anyway, I am so happy to be doing another round of boot camp. It’s really hard for me to motivate myself to workout with my boyfriend at home and not participating in the program… And I would imagine I’m not the only person that has to overcome that hurdle and me participating in boot camp is what will launch me over the hurdle. I really am finding that through this blogging experience, that things that would have allowed me to quit trying in the past (such as not really having the drive to push through P90x at home), blogging forces me to figure out a fitness plan that I think will really become adapted to my life while still accomplishing my goals. So there’s that. Bear with me, folks! What a ride its becoming. I think I may need a name change for my blog.

Finally Friday!

So let me get it out of the way - I did my first "public" weigh in today and I'm up .2 of a pound. Really makes me regret all of the sodium I had yesterday. I don't know exactly how much I consumed, but I know it was a lot, and I didn't think about that when it came to the scale today. Such is life though.

I got up early this morning and did the cardio portion of my Couch to 5k run. I want to dedicate this post to blogger Kelli... I didn't even realize until she mentioned that she is also combining the P90x and Couch to 5k program. This morning when I was out for my run and a few miles from home, I was thinking about her blog yesterday, because I was really having a tough time going (It was like 6 am and still dark outside!) but she mentioned how she kept going and it did get easier, and I had the same experience this morning.

And I definitely had my doubts out on the streets thinking - "why the heck am I out here?" "I am SO not a runner." "1/2 Marathon? 10k? I don't even want to finish a 5k." Anyway - I just want to let Kelli know she is SO not alone in those thoughts - and even though you may be worried about the mental toughness - YOU ARE TOUGH gal cause you still got yourself out to the gym... THANK YOU for motivating me! And you know what? We got this gal! This is our time to kick butt!

Thirsty (for water) Thursday

Its another fabulous day in the midwest. Days like these really get me excited for the summer and to be on our boat that we have on the River. Probably my favorite place to be. And when I think about the boat, I think about wanting to look good in my swimsuit... that I want to be, dare I say it? A.... Bikini! As I committed to last night - I did go for my jog. I've modified my workout in such a way that I am participating in the P90x strength training workouts (3x a week), and then modifiying a version of Couch to 5k for cardio (3x a week)... I have some experience running, so I picked up the Couch to 5k running program at week 5 and I plan on turning it into a 10k running program when the C to 5k portion is done in three weeks.

I also think that I may have committed today to a 1/2 marathon relay (each person runs half) the first weekend of August. Assuming my relay partner Gina and I don't get a bug up our ass to try to do the whole thing?!?!

Still have to say... not a fan that 90% of weight loss... or whatever the figure may be... is done in the kitchen. But little steps eventually will get me where I need to be. Not going to sweat it too much. I want a lifestyle change and to sport this swimwear this summer... miracles not required, but changes and a better selfesteem? Coming right up!