Coworker from yesterday, after being bothered by her all afternoon, told me that I looked slimmer. I know I took the compliment too personally - and it was more about the fact she said it in front of the skinny snotty coworkers (commenting coworker is not thin) - but then receiving her sincere compliment that I was looking thinner makes me feel angry about being mad at the slore yesterday. Whatever. Set it and Forget it. Actually - that's a Ron Propeal coined term. How about, forget it and move on?
Thursday afternoon and patiently waiting for my frenemy, the weekend to arrive, along with her BFF's alcohol and fatty, greasy, tasty food.
Done with work a little early to watch my youngest sister in a track meet. Happy Thirsty Thursday!
Thursday, May 6, 2010
Wednesday, May 5, 2010
Hulk Thighs, Muffin Top and Moose Knuckles
1) This week’s boot camp weigh in came with a whopping .4 lbs weight loss. I don’t even sarcastically mean whopping, because Monday / aka 4# higher, to have even come in the realm of last week’s WI number would have seemed like quite the accomplishment. And some how, some way – bam! .4 lbs. You’re damn right I’ll take that. Although my kidneys are just a touch sore, I can only imagine from shoving down gallons of water to flush out the sodium left behind from my toxic, yet delicious and satisfying, weekend. Also boot camp related, my M/W trainer and accountability expert Amanda is leaving my gym this week. I'm disappointed she's unable to complete the rest of this boot camp session.
2) Had a moment at lunch today where I really wanted to knock a coworker out. (Coming from HR – I would have to write myself up – therefore creating more work for me.) It may sound silly and a little dramatic that I became so bothered by this, but when I was making my nice chemical-laden bag of microwave popcorn, a coworker asks “Oh, is that on your diet?” This was in front of the 7 women that bring in some sort of treat to the office literally everyday and don’t get fat. (although – we’ve been having bathroom stall issues. Related?) But, I just felt so embarrassed when she called me out on my “diet” in front of other people. For one thing, the word “diet” has this mocking undertone to me, like “what’s your short term solution going to be this time?”. The other thing is that I totally felt called out on my insecurities. “Hello – I know I’m fat, especially compared to all of you.” Ugh. It so irritated me. And between being caught off-guard and the cheery push over that I am. I came back to my office to only sit and think about it the rest of the afternoon.
I’ve wrote about this before, but even on a few of my favorite blogs, this seems to have been coming up, but how do you stay motivated and accepting that this is a lifestyle change. If you want to be thin, healthy, whatever, it has to be more than just a diet until you hit goal?
3) This all probably wouldn’t be such a big deal had I not chosen to wear a pair of Capri’s that last year 10 lbs heavier I thought I could pull off. Yowza. Now the low-rise, muffin-top exposing, if I pull them up I emphasize what on thin women is a camel toe that I lovingly refer to as a Moose Knuckle, and I feel like if I flexed my thighs while sitting, they may just burst out of my Capri’s like the angry and misunderstood Hulk pants are driving me crazy.
And with that lovely imagine to rest your thoughts on, I go.
2) Had a moment at lunch today where I really wanted to knock a coworker out. (Coming from HR – I would have to write myself up – therefore creating more work for me.) It may sound silly and a little dramatic that I became so bothered by this, but when I was making my nice chemical-laden bag of microwave popcorn, a coworker asks “Oh, is that on your diet?” This was in front of the 7 women that bring in some sort of treat to the office literally everyday and don’t get fat. (although – we’ve been having bathroom stall issues. Related?) But, I just felt so embarrassed when she called me out on my “diet” in front of other people. For one thing, the word “diet” has this mocking undertone to me, like “what’s your short term solution going to be this time?”. The other thing is that I totally felt called out on my insecurities. “Hello – I know I’m fat, especially compared to all of you.” Ugh. It so irritated me. And between being caught off-guard and the cheery push over that I am. I came back to my office to only sit and think about it the rest of the afternoon.
I’ve wrote about this before, but even on a few of my favorite blogs, this seems to have been coming up, but how do you stay motivated and accepting that this is a lifestyle change. If you want to be thin, healthy, whatever, it has to be more than just a diet until you hit goal?
3) This all probably wouldn’t be such a big deal had I not chosen to wear a pair of Capri’s that last year 10 lbs heavier I thought I could pull off. Yowza. Now the low-rise, muffin-top exposing, if I pull them up I emphasize what on thin women is a camel toe that I lovingly refer to as a Moose Knuckle, and I feel like if I flexed my thighs while sitting, they may just burst out of my Capri’s like the angry and misunderstood Hulk pants are driving me crazy.
And with that lovely imagine to rest your thoughts on, I go.
Monday, May 3, 2010
I’ve returned to the world of blogging… I tracked everything I ate over my birthday weekend, and it was all fabulous…. And very clear as to why I’m 40# overweight! Damn. I also may have found a flaw in my calories in/calories out theory, because even while tracking everything – the scale reads that I gained a whopping 4#. This is leading me to drink lots of water, (on my 3rd liter of the day), because I do NOT want to gain. Remain the same, okay with. Gain, not so okay with. And that calorie in/calorie out theory should lead me to a wash this week. Son of a gun.
Inner Fat Girl certainly did not pack today’s lunch of raw veggies, hummus, cottage cheese and perfectly portioned pretzels. She must have still been in a food coma from this weekend. But again, my birthday, so not that I deserved to binge and indulge, but it was worth it. I had one of the best weekends with my SO that I’ve had in a long time, and he put in a lot of effort to show just how much he loves me. Including treating me to a bottle of Dom Perignon for my present. (Also an adorable professional photo book of all the great times we've had over the past 5 years)
I’m looking into getting Internet down at our boat. I really like to at least be able to chime in on other bloggers, and it really keeps my own head straight about why I’m trying to gain control of my food life. It seems as though what we eat is a reflection on other areas of our life and if this falls in line, maybe I’ll have the discipline and confidence to achieve other things important to me. Lessons I believe that WL will teach me.
My boot camp instructor overslept today but we stuck around and did a group workout together. I also squeezed another 20 minutes on the elliptical. I also am so afraid of boot camp punishment that I’m heading to the gym again tonight for about 40 minutes because tomorrow will be birthday dinner with dear old day. He is making a lean protein, but also makes a mean garlic bread and dessert that I will need to plan for.
Happy Monday.
Inner Fat Girl certainly did not pack today’s lunch of raw veggies, hummus, cottage cheese and perfectly portioned pretzels. She must have still been in a food coma from this weekend. But again, my birthday, so not that I deserved to binge and indulge, but it was worth it. I had one of the best weekends with my SO that I’ve had in a long time, and he put in a lot of effort to show just how much he loves me. Including treating me to a bottle of Dom Perignon for my present. (Also an adorable professional photo book of all the great times we've had over the past 5 years)
I’m looking into getting Internet down at our boat. I really like to at least be able to chime in on other bloggers, and it really keeps my own head straight about why I’m trying to gain control of my food life. It seems as though what we eat is a reflection on other areas of our life and if this falls in line, maybe I’ll have the discipline and confidence to achieve other things important to me. Lessons I believe that WL will teach me.
My boot camp instructor overslept today but we stuck around and did a group workout together. I also squeezed another 20 minutes on the elliptical. I also am so afraid of boot camp punishment that I’m heading to the gym again tonight for about 40 minutes because tomorrow will be birthday dinner with dear old day. He is making a lean protein, but also makes a mean garlic bread and dessert that I will need to plan for.
Happy Monday.
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